Liopleurodons and You.

That's right! I've come to introduce you to a little known (or cared about) dinosaur! Why liopleurodons? Well, why not I say!

As some of you may have heard, Jurassic Park 4 is being made. Yes, you did read that right. Now, don't get me wrong. I loved the first two movies. Filled with action, adventure and rampaging dinosaurs, they should be on everybodies top movie list. However, the third movie I found was uhm, slightly disappointing. Still on the velociraptors? And Spinosaurs? Really? Whilst I adore Velociraptors as much as the next person, maybe introducing a different set of scary predators would liven things up.

What Velociraptors have become. A hilarious husk of their former selves.

Hence: Liopleurodons. I know, I know. There was the whole Pterosaur sub-story going on as we saw from the end credits as they flew romantically off into the sunset, but what's the likelihood of them actually flying to somewhere to terrorise people? Which is why I think maybe they should make it in the water. Much more scary! Like Jaws, only with dinosaurs!

How'd you like that in your swimming pool? Yeah, I thought so.
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See? Can you imagine the possibilities they would have with that? One minute, a bunch of people having a fun party on a boat, the next second: RAWR!CHOMP. According to the knowledgable and completely factual internet source that is wikipedia, Liopleurodons were an apex predator of the ocean during the Jurassic period. That's practically a winner!

Continuing along on how awesome this potential aquatic version of Jurassic Park meets Jaws is, their fossils have only been really found around England, France and Russia. We could have Russian spies! Or some crazy Russian lab for the Government attempting to clone a Super Army of crime fighting... I mean, a terrible force of unstoppable power bent solely on World Domination (tm). Only! They're nuke resistant! Oh noes! The American's sole weapon effective enough against people, aliens and Godzilla suddenly becomes nothing more than a childs toy! The Russians laugh at their feeble attempts to stop them! Calamity!

Ok, ok. So it's less Jurassic Park than some terrible spin-off of all the other Monster Movies. Lake Placid and so on so forth. The only way that they could make Jurassic Park 4 any more awesome with the dinosaurs they are recycling is if they made one of the Velociraptors into James Bond or attached lasers to their heads. Because I think Doctor Evil had something going with the whole Shark-laser routine.
So really, when it all comes down to it, do we really want another sequel of the same old thing when there is a whole bucket load of dinosaurs that could really makes things go from a rating of : Eh, I'd only watch this if I was super bored or if it was the only option besides Twilight to Oh, wow! This film is amazing! I would totally date this movie if it was a person because it is just that awesome?

Exactly.
And on a final, and somewhat related note, I leave you with this:

Disclaimer/Note: Pictures aren't mine! I got them off google, so google away to find the right sites. Or alternatively look below. I'm also not making profit from this otherwise I would have been doing this a long time ago. No offense meant to any of the following mentioned people/countries/movies above. It's also pretty much a guarantee that I'll end up watching Jurassic Park 4, because I am a masochist and there aren't enough dinosaur movies to begin with. Woe.
twilight liopleurodons velociraptor